Breaking da Law

So today I drove into the wonderful shithole called New York City. A place I feel has the appeal of wooden toilet paper. I hate New York, but I will get into that another time.

Anyways, I was driving to JFK Airport to pick up a friend. I am on the phone with my dad on my bluetooth. For some reason the bluetooth was not working properly. I turned it off and spoke to him without the bluetooth. I was at the Whitestone Bridge sitting in traffic and not moving. While sitting going 0 miles per hour, a scummy looking bridge cop puts his head in my window and says:
"Excuse me sir, do you need me to call 911 for medical assistance?"
"Nope. I'm all good" I told him.
He peers into my backseat and starts looking around.
"You sure sir? You don't need any medical attention."
"No."
"Well sir, the reason I am asking is because you are currently on a handheld device while operating a vehicle" he says in a dickhead manner.
"I am holding a phone, but I am not driving" was my retort.
"Is your car in 'drive'?" He says this while leaning his greasy head further in.
"Yes."
"Then sir, you are operating a vehicle."
"OK."
"Are you going to hang up your phone or do I have to write you a citation?"

So I hang up the phone and pull up to the tollbooth. The pleasant hag manning the booth gave me a dirty look to which I said:
"5 Dollars just to cross a bridge!!?"
"It's better $5 than the $95 you would have paid for talking on your cellphone!" She yelled this at me as if to scold me.
"Well anything above 50 cents is too much to pay for this scumbag city and all it's inhabitants" I said angrily.
"Whateva! Na ah!"
"Fuckin' moron" as I sped away.

The moral of this story is that New York is a shithole. You pay $5 to cross a bridge with craters the size of buses which your money is supposedly going to repair. You have cops who are deemed useless and sent to patrol the bridge for "handheld device violations." And then you have the old lady who realizes that her whole life is based on taking the money that I purposely just sneezed on. Bitch!