Now that Halloween has passed and we now have officially elected the first African American president, I feel it is time to rant on an important issue...licorice.
Black licorice is disgusting. It tastes like you are chewing on an old man's shoe. The taste is horrible and you spend so much time chewing it for nothing pleasurable in return.
Red Twizzlers are ok, but i prefer the shoestring cherry ones. They have taste and I like that I don't feel like I did all that work for nothing. I gots minez!
After working with children for so long I always notice that after Halloween kids always try to trade away Good 'N Plenty for something more pleasing. You just have bags of candy lying around filled with this shit. Even first graders aren't dumb enough to trade away their crappy Milk Duds for an even crappier Good 'N Plenty.
Why do people buy this shit for halloween? Have you ever seen anyone actually purchase it at the store to eat themselves? No. They only buy it for Halloween to give away. You sadistic fuckers. I think the kids will agree that they would rather get nothing than crap in a box.
We live in a new time. We have a new president. We are in the beginning stages of a financial meltdown. Please do your part and don't buy Bad 'N Shitty. If you do, make good use of it and shove it up your ass.
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