Peanuts

I was flipping through the channels tonight and I saw a Peanuts movie on. It was one of my favorites as a kid. I loved Snoopy and all those little snobby bastards he hung out with.

As an adult I find these cartoons to be rather fucked up. Everyone always comments on the lack of adult supervision or the "wa wa wa wa" dialect that the adults speak. This is disturbing, but that angle of it has been beaten to a pulp. I see some other troubling things.

The first thing that troubles me is Snoopy's collar is way too tight. I bet if you looked under it you would have some of the worst rugburn ever. How the ASPCA hasn't come over and removed him is amazing. It is also amazing that he is allowed to freely come and go as he pleases. There are no set boundaries for him. Cesar Millan the Dog Whisperer would get his ass in gear.

Aside from these kids being left alone all day, what about Pigpen? You mean to tell me this little ball of dust and shit hasn't been scooped up by CPS? The kid is literally a mound of dirt and nobody ever thinks to call the proper authorities?

Lastly, why are the girls freely allowed to chill with the boys alone? Sally loves Linus and you know Charlie Brown was drugging Lucy and hitting that. If these kids can recite Yeats poems and play Beethoven, then they damn well can play hide the salami.

Basically if you have a kid that you like to leave home all day and night unsupervised alone with a dog and a revolving door of friends, then at least have them shower every now and then. Also, leave a box of condoms. Be safe you negligent fuck!