I love kids. I think they are fun, they can be cute, and basically don't know how shitty the world is. I respect that. Everyone keeps asking when I'm going to have a kid. Not right now. I enjoy my sleep, my R-rated movies, and the fact that the only ass I have to wipe is my own.
I'm not saying I don't want kids, but not right now. Maybe in a year or two things will change. I was thinking that we should start a national parental timeshare. It would be like a foster home, except you would actually love the kid and not beat the shit our of them.
You would pay to "own" the child for certain days, months, or even years that you want to be involved. I would personally want to spend some time while it is still an infant to see it as a cute baby. Maybe a day or two. I would then ship him/her off until they are in 2nd grade. This is when they are enjoyable. I would keep the kid until around 6th grade. Then I would ship them off and that's about it.
Fuck the teething, the terrible twos, teen angst, pregnancy scares, and poverty. I don't need it thank you.
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