Grocery Shopping

I personally like to go grocery shopping late at night. I stroll through the aisles of my local Hannafords at like 11pm with all of the drunk kids and heroine addicts. So basically I am the only one conscious in the store besides the poor checkout girl.

Today I decided to go to the store around 11am to do my grocery shopping. It took about 10 minutes to go up each aisle. I go up the first aisle to pick up some veggies and I'm stuck behind the lady with the screaming infant and whiny toddler while she tries to figure out which apples to purchase.

I finally break free from the veggie aisle and find myself in the cereal aisle where an elderly couple is trying to figure out which brand of Raisin Bran helps to build a stronger stool. In case you are wondering...they went with the Kellogg's. You can't beat two scoops of raisins.

Why do old people feel the need to go 5mph only to stop short at every Little Debbie case or Metemucil display? Why do they have to stop their cart in the middle of the aisle and block everyone from passing?

Anyways, I am not going to shop during the day anymore. I will continue to shop late at night along with the drunks and heroine addicts. At least when they are passed out on the floor I can move my cart over them. I will continue to be a late night shopper until I am old and blocking the aisle with my cart.

Good night, and have a pleasant tomorrow. -SNL