Have you ever gone to the store craving string cheese? Me neither. However, my wife is obssessed with string cheese. She loves to peel it and devour that shit.
One time I went to the store and they didn't have Polly-O, the brand whose string cheese is the only one I ever purchased. I figured it is fucking cheese and the wife won't mind.
Fast forward 45 minutes as she pulled the plastic off her cheese log. The very first string went in and was spit out. She seemed to be gagging. She put the log o' cheese down on the table never to nibble it again. I tried one myself and it was awful. It tasted like I was chewing on some sweaty gym socks.
How the hell did one company put a monopoly on cheese? How did they take a basic ingredient and make it the only edible peeling cheese? I feel an investigation should be opened into this matter. I think this is the beginning of a massive sabotage and cover-up. Goddamn.
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