OMB

OMB is something that has been a problem with society ever since the invention of the sweatpants. Sweatpants were made for athletic people so they can run and play comfortably without all the restrictions of jeans and slacks. This has caused a problem, however, with a breed of human that we have all experienced....the elderly man. They tend to wear their sweats a size or two too small therefore resulting in Moose Knuckles, or as I like to call it OMB(Old Man Balls.)

Maybe it is because once you hit 80 you have nobody to impress and sweats are the easiest thing to slip on and slip off (especially if your prostate is about to explode.) I just don't understand why their families or friends don't just tell them that the pants are too fucking tight? Why must all the world see the veins in your scrotum?

If you have ever encountered an old man in sweats you know he is dangling one in one pantleg and one in the other. It looks like he has measuring weights in his pants. Isn't it uncomfortable to have your boys spread out like that?

All I know is that when I get old I will either have decent size sweat pants, wear a cup, or throw myself in front of a train. I figure these are logical solutions to avoiding the exposure of my OMB.